By Ryan Wood, Arthur Lovington Atwood Hammond High School
In 2018, I graduated with my degree in Music Education. After years of studying, practicing, and learning, it was time to put the knowledge to work! I accepted a job offer to teach 5th-12th grade band in a small, rural, and welcoming community. This position was split between three schools. Two thirds of the job included teaching Beginning and Junior High Band. We all know how much fun this can be! The final third was spent teaching High School Band. Coming into this position after a well-respected retiree meant it came with a few additional challenges that college could not prepare me for.
Within the first few weeks I quickly realized that each day brought a new experience, bringing challenges of vulnerability and courage. I dressed myself in my strongest armor and thought, “I need to show them that I know my stuff! After that, they will respect and love me.” I could demonstrate my killer flute skills (flute is not my primary instrument), utilize my hours of conducting practice standing in front of bathroom mirrors, or even share my miscellaneous knowledge of music theory and world music. “Yes, that will work!” To my surprise, that did not work.
My first huge realization was that my students wanted a human being as their Band Director, not a rigid and fearless knight in shining armor. In my first two years of teaching, it became clear that our students want to see their teachers as fellow human beings. We must remove the armor and show them that we make mistakes, feel emotions, and grow just like they should. In Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead, she states, “You can’t fully grow and contribute behind armor. It takes a massive amount of energy just to carry it around - sometimes it takes all of our energy.”
Brown defines vulnerability as, “the emotion that we experience during times of uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” I think everyone can define their first few years of teaching as containing a plethora of uncertainty. From selecting repertoire to classroom management policies, we face these challenges every single day. But how do we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and still use it to our advantage? Dare to Lead contains three ideas that help me label these feelings and put them into practice:
“Embrace the suck.”
There will be days that we feel like we put our best and strongest self in front of our students. Those days could entail the biggest marching band competition of the season, winter concert, or organizational contest! We all want that trophy, standing ovation or accolade. Let’s be serious: we do not always get those affirmations. These are the days that really suck. Embrace them! Teach yourself to take those moments and make them positively memorable. Show your students that we do not always get what we want, even if we worked hard for it. Talk about those feelings and recognize that they are valid and appropriate. Shedding your armor helps you sleep better at night and gives you courage for the future.
“Setting boundaries is making clear what’s okay and what’s not okay, and why.”
One of the most apparent realizations of my first few years is the importance of setting boundaries. We easily think that being a young teacher makes you cool and relatable. Maybe that is true! But there is a fine line between being relatable and demonstrating true vulnerability. “Vulnerability minus boundaries is not vulnerability. It’s confession, manipulation, desperation, or shock and awe, but it’s not vulnerability.” I believe that it all comes down to the connection between us and our students.
“Daring leaders must care for and be connected to the people they lead.”
I hope that this one is obvious. Brown states it way better than I ever could. “We must be guardians of a space that allows students to breathe and be curious and explore the world and be who they are without suffocation. They deserve one place where they can rumble with vulnerability and their hearts can exhale.” We need to be intentional about connecting with and fostering the right kind of relationships with our students that provide that safe space that Brown talks about.
In order to truly feel courage, we have to join forces with vulnerability. The root of the word courage is “cor”, which is the Latin word for heart. An early definition of courage is “to speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.” When using the word courage we must include the importance of looking within. It is my hope that you are able to take something from my experiences and reflections. Relate it to your teaching! Brené Brown’s work on vulnerability and courage has inspired my day to day life, inside and outside of the classroom, and I hope it inspires you as well.
Ryan Wood is the Band Director at Arthur Lovington Atwood Hammond High School in Arthur, Illinois. He holds a Bachelor of Music in Music Education degree from Millikin University. In the summer, Ryan spends his time as a Clinic Administrator for Fred J. Miller Summer Clinics.